We often think of our personalities as fixed, part of our core identity. But what if you could change parts of it that don’t serve you? Inspired by new psychology research suggesting we can, I decided to take on a six – week experiment to see if I could actually become less neurotic, more outgoing, and a little nicer.
The Starting Point: A Personality Snapshot
Using a widely accepted psychology model (the “Big Five”), I first measured my personality. The results were clear: I scored very high in neuroticism – a trait linked to anxiety, worry, and emotional sensitivity. I also wanted to improve my extraversion (to make friends in a new city) and my agreeableness (to be more trusting and cooperative). My goal was simple: try to shift these scores through daily, intentional actions.
The Method: “Fake It Till You Make It”
Research shows that small, consistent actions can lead to real personality shifts. I borrowed a set of simple weekly challenges designed to change specific traits. The core idea is that by acting like the person you want to be, you slowly start to become that person.
Here’s what I tried:
- To Reduce Neuroticism: I started a daily gratitude journal and began meditating for 10 minutes.
- To Increase Extraversion: I forced myself to attend local events like book clubs and yoga classes, and to say hello to strangers.
- To Increase Agreeableness: I practiced giving people the benefit of the doubt and performed small, unrequested acts of kindness.
The Surprising Results After Six Weeks
At the end of the experiment, I retook the personality test. The changes were noticeable:
- Neuroticism: My score dropped dramatically, moving from the 83rd percentile to the 50th. The meditation and journaling helped me observe my anxious thoughts without being controlled by them.
- Extraversion: I moved from the 30th to the 50th percentile. By consistently putting myself in social situations, they became less daunting and even enjoyable.
- Agreeableness: I jumped from the 50th to the 70th percentile. Actively choosing to think kindly about others’ motivations made me feel more positive and trusting.
Key Takeaways and Realistic Expectations
This personal experiment mirrored what scientific studies have found: targeted, consistent effort can lead to meaningful, measurable personality change in a short period. However, it’s important to have realistic expectations:
1. Change is Gradual: You won’t wake up a completely different person. The shifts are subtle but significant – like feeling calmer is stressful situations or finding small talk easier.
2. Consistency is Crucial: The changes come from building new habits. Skipping the actions likely leads to backsliding.
3. The “Control” Subject: My partner, who did not try to change, showed no shift in his scores. This highlighted that change requires active intention and effort.
The most empowering lesson was that we are not stuck with the personality we have today. By choosing our actions deliberately, we can gently steer who we become tomorrow. Whether you want to be calmer, more outgoing or more cooperative, the science – and my experience – suggests it’s within your reach.
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